Things that Don't Mix Well

1) Coffee and microsurgery.
2) Goldfish brains and water. (I know, you wouldn't think, right?)
3) Cell phone audio and English as a second language.
4) Nudity and employment at a coffee shop. (yeah, there's a story here, but it's not really worth telling. Honestly. Suffice it to say that even after the shop is closed and you think people can't see, it's best to keep your clothes on.)
5) Walkers and bikers, on the Williamsburg bridge. (Maybe it's just me, but the sign very clearly says, pedestrians on the left, bicyclists on the right. I don't know why it's so hard.)
6) Wing tips and hot bagels with cream cheese. (think about it)
7) Gin and Chinotto.
8) Cole Porter and hollering winos on the subway.
9) Me and fire, apparently (three uh, incidents, in the kitchen in one week.)
10) Now that we're getting some nice weather, tank tops and hairy shoulders. Not mine, of course.