On the other hand

At latest count, Californians, on the same day, have voted:

• 59.5% - 40.4% to transcend the dark past of America's history of racism and elect a black man as president
• 62.3 % - 37.7% to grant farm animals a marginal improvement in the quality of their short, miserable lives
• 52.5% - 47.5% to rescind the already-granted right for homosexuals to marry the people they love

I loved the time I spent living in California, and I'm glad that Californians, as an electorate, are cool with black people and chickens and cows. I admit, however, that I'm really disappointed to hear that, turns out, they're less okay with fags than they always seemed to let on.

I hope my readers will forgive me for making some targeted asides:
Dear California: I'm never moving back.
Dear Mormons: Fuck you. Seriously. I'm not a violent person, but I am going to punch a mormon in the face before I die.
Dear Straight, Liberal Friends: Thank you for voting my way, although I have to admit, I still find it unsettling to hear you talking about gay marriage as an abstraction.
Dear Straight Everybody Else: WTF is wrong with you?
Dear Florida: Don't even. I do not want to hear a fucking word from you. Sshh, freaks. Just sshhh.